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I started thinking about what I’d learned over the years about being vulnerable and how it helps to create dating success.My answer was very typical me and it started with reframing what we believe it means to be vulnerable.Remember that confidence means that you believe in yourself.It’s a reflection of how you feel about your abilities.Given this definition, the act of falling in love is the ultimate risk. It's inherently risky because our partner could leave without a moment's notice, betray us or stop loving us. Brown cautions us that putting ourselves out there also means there's a greater risk of getting criticized or feeling hurt.Take a moment to consider that you might be sabotaging relationship after relationship if you don't get to the root of your fear of being vulnerable.I'm going to recklessly throw this out there: My name is Zara Barrie, and I'm woefully terrified of the prospect of being vulnerable to another human being. In fact, on the contrary, I look at it as a giant, bright red warning flag wildly waving itself above my head. I don't think it provides me with an even mildly mysterious edge.

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While this is sometimes scary, it is precisely what enables us to enrich our lives and grow.

For a relationship to be balanced, partners must be able to depend on one another and feel that they are needed and appreciated for the support they give.

If we have been let down in the past, the prospect of needing someone can be frightening.

Allow me to disclaim: I'm an extremely vulnerable entity. The more deeply sensitive you are, the further the knife cuts when pain is inflicted upon you, so you take great measures to ensure your walls are extra high? Others have hardcore, staunch, ever-pressing fears of spiders creeping into their beds in the darkness without them even noticing.

In fact, most days when I wake up, I feel like the most vulnerable creature ever to grace the planet. Some people are afraid of being confined in a packed subway car or are racked by nerves the moment they find themselves on an empty street on the Lower East Side come nightfall.

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