I gave up on dating book
Harris's book struck a chord with an entire generation of young believers.The book far exceeded the sales expectations of Multnomah, its publisher, and has spawned an entire genre of works on how to do relationships in a "Christian way." Recent titles include Dating and Waiting ...In a recent NPR article, Harris states that “when we try to overly control our own lives or overly control other people’s lives, I think we end up harming people … And yet, for me, the legacy of purity culture is not one of freedom but one of fear. Even Harris himself is asking to hear the conversation on his site, as he shares on his website that he has “heard a growing number of voices of people who have been hurt by [his books].” So where does this leave us? I firmly believe that the Word of God has placed clear boundaries on marriage being the commitment for sex.that’s part of the problem with my book.” The Washington Post followed up with a similar article in which a writer shares her story: I am a purity-culture success story: I am a heterosexual woman, a virgin until marriage, now with two small children and a husband I deeply love. Kissing ‘Waiting’ Goodbye I most certainly gave up dating out of fear. For those who were affected by the tidal wave of copies of books by authors who championed for waiting, what are we to do? We need to begin in safe, vulnerable conversations. Just because we are ridding ourselves of the anxiety of waiting doesn’t mean that we give up all forms of God-honoring waiting for certain aspects of marriage." asked Harris, who stepped down as lead pastor at Covenant Life last year to pursue graduate studies at the evangelical Regent College in British Columbia.
If I were to be honest, there were even a handful of men who helped me work through a lot of these topics. The problem is that I feel as if so many of those boundaries are defined either by fear or by the opposite—pride of not looking “holy.” This is the kind of mental concept I am okay with walking away from.
The book, marketed to teenagers and 20somethings, also discourages teen relationships and promotes courtship, a process in which a couple moves purposefully toward marriage with their parents' blessing and involvement as a better alternative to dating.
Any kind of physical intimacy before marriage, the book argues, is a violation of the sacredness of married sexuality, and could lead to lifelong regret.
But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. The only worry was being dumpedyou never wanted to get dumped, you wanted to do the dumping.
A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David's other hand. One girl I knew had the fastest breakup routine ever: When she was ready to end a relationship, she'd say, "Skippy-bop, you just got dropped." But soon, just saying you were going out with someone wasn't enough.