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Bwahahah my long friendship with BJ has been a long con to reach this point!

Thanks @peoplemag and @picturesoftext for including #Why Not Me in their holiday gift guide.

Your prospective partners will pick up on these very quickly.

There’s a world of difference between being able to calmly and confidently talk about the things you’re looking for, versus presenting yourself as a walking basket of unmet needs who’s desperately looking to others for validation.

It was while planning this vacation that it hit me: The two longest relationships of my life have both been with men who I was never officially dating.

This friendship-first approach has fundamentally changed my understanding of dating and relationships.

Funny, heartfelt, insightful, entertaining, smart, surprising, sincere, the best. The ability to take a good selfie — or alternately, the ability to oblige your nearest and dearest with a selfie. Despite not dating, they do lots of fun, date-like activities together: While being full-time actors/writers/funny people seems like it could be exhausting, Kaling and Novak seem to make plenty of time to have fun.

[Author’s note: Per reader request, I’ve merged parts 1 and 2 of this article into a single unified piece, available here.]In my previous post, I introduced the concept of a friendship-first approach to dating that fosters strong social networks and radically increases your chances of finding a lasting romantic partnership.

She quickly connected us via Facebook, where her friend and I immediately hit it off and subsequently spent the whole weekend together.

In a few days, I’m going to Cuba on vacation with a guy I’ve been sleeping with for eight years, but whom I've never once called my boyfriend.

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